The Steadfastness of Hope

She spins and she sways…

Another song that has special meaning for me is Cinderella by Stephen Curtis Chapman.  Our daughter Gwen was just like the girl in the song, always dancing and singing.  Gwen and her sister were adopted, just as Stephen Curtis Chapman’s youngest daughters were. And like Stephen Curtis Chapman’s youngest daughter, Gwen died unexpectedly at a young age.

10 years ago this morning, I was pulled out of an early meeting at work to find out that Gwen had died in her sleep.  The night before she was singing and goofing around with her sister and brother like any other day.  Then her clock struck midnight and she was gone. She wasn’t even five years old yet.

Paul opens his first letter to the Thessalonians by saying, “We give thanks to God always for all of you, making mention of you in our prayers; constantly bearing in mind your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.”  (1 Thess. 1:2-3 NASB). Later in the book he tells them to “comfort one another” with the hope that the dead in Christ will be with him.   

When my grandparents and parents died, I was ready for it.  They were older and had health issues.  It was not a surprise.  And it was a solace to know that my dear departed loved ones were with God. 

The grief of losing a young child is like none other….

But, for me, the grief of losing a young child is like none other.  A whole lifetime of hopes and dreams are destroyed in an instant.  The order of the universe is broken.  We are not supposed to outlive our kids.

The days and months after our daughter’s death and then again two years later when our foster son was taken away from us were the most difficult times in my life.  But even though there were times when I was not sure how I could go on with life, I knew I had to do so for the sake of the other family members around me that I loved.

Where is God when you are going through dark days like that? 

Where is God when you are going through dark days like that?  I believe He was with me every step of the way, even though I did not always feel it at the time.  In those dark days, I had to rely on the faithfulness of God that I had experienced in my life up to that time.  I knew I could trust Him because I remembered how He had been faithful to take care of me in lesser ways in prior times.  Even though I could not comprehend what was happening, I knew I could still trust Him.

Losing two children, one to death and one to the whims of the state bureaucracy, was devastating to my family.  In the words of Stephen Curtis Chapman, “It’s a completely unfixable, broken-beyond-repair situation until heaven. In heaven, and only in heaven, will this make sense.”[i]  Eight and ten years later, we are still learning how to live with the broken-beyond-repair situation in my family.

In heaven, and only in heaven, will this make sense.

Stephen Curtis Chapman

But we still can have a steadfast hope in God.  We know that God still is on the throne of the universe.  We know that He loves us.  We know that His Holy Spirit guides us in daily life. And we know that we will someday join our loved ones with Him in eternity.

The righteous perish,
    and no one takes it to heart;
the devout are taken away,
    and no one understands
that the righteous are taken away
    to be spared from evil

(Isaiah 57:1 NIV)

Gwen has been spared from the evil that is in this world.  But our family is broken by our loss of her, until that day when we will be singing and dancing again with her, before the throne of God in eternity. Until then, we still can have a steadfast hope in God.

---

---

[i] https://www.tennessean.com/story/entertainment/2015/05/29/steven-curtis-chapman-grief-daughter-unfixable/28183569/