I was sitting in my self-quarantine minding my own business when I heard my daughter’s shout. I excused myself from my isolation cell (I mean guest room) to see what was the matter.
“What’s up Sam?” I asked.
“I think Sunny killed something.”
Sunny is our Golden Retriever/Great Pyrenees mix who usually patrols our fenced-in yard. He often barks to let us know something is happening in the surrounding miles of suburbia. He has also been known to kill intruding varmints on occasion.
Sure enough, Sunny was lying by the back door with blood on his paws. I went out and checked him and found no injury.
Sam and I walked around the yard to see if we could find any evidence of what happened.
“Is there anything on the deck?”
“No.”
“I don’t see anything in the yard. Is there anything behind the shed?”
“No. When I saw him earlier he was under the trampoline.”
“I don’t see anything under the trampoline. Oh, there it is between the trampoline and the deck.”
I went back inside to put on shoes and socks. Then I used a shovel and a big stick to clean up the mayhem and put it in the garbage can.
I tried to dispose of the evidence as surreptitiously as possible, but Cock Robin must have been watching the whole time. As soon as I closed the garbage can, I felt something wet plop on my head. He probably wanted to tag me before I got away … in case he couldn’t identify me when I took the mask off.
Before I could return to my cell, I had to wash the blood off Sunny’s paws and then wash the remaining evidence out of my hair. Does that make me an accomplice because I hid the body and helped Sunny get the blood off his paws?
By the way, I didn’t actually see who dive-bombed me. My friend The Sparrow said it was Cock Robin. So, he got his bow and arrow and went to avenge me.
This is based on a true story that actually happened to me on April 9th, 2021. It’s a little different from what I usually write, but I hope you enjoyed it.